I scrawl...
my inner thoughts...
It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.
--New Moon, p.118
Three years ago, this day happened to be the best day of my life.
If I would deliberate things today, it would still be the best.
I remembered how I made my very first decision towards my very own happiness.
Naalala ko kung paano ako umiiyak over the fact that I am hurting someone while being hurt by somebody, while hurting that somebody, and while hurting myself more than anyone else.
Its a non-stop cycle.
Masasabi kong I was pretty good at making decisions because I did became the happiest at that time. What I wasn't good at is probably maintaining that happiness I acquired.
It lasted all too soon.
It became history all too quick.
And then, I changed to what I am now.
Masaya parin naman ako at present.
Its just that I'm happy but empty.
Now, I wanted to take a step towards another decision, hoping that that decision would lead me to be happy and whole. But, sadly enough...
I tripped even before I took the first step.
Maybe this isn't just the perfect time yet.
Maybe, there isn't a perfect time at all.
Maybe, things like things like this isn't supposed to be planned; its something that just happens.
It's something like kismet.
Walang perfect time, there's only a right time.
And when that right time comes, i know I would be ready.
Wala nang pride na maapakan.
Walang feelings na masasaktan.
Kaligayahan lang ang mararamdaman.
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